I was reading Dear Abby this morning & it got me aggravated. A reader had written in about opening a door for a woman & how the woman had bit his head off for doing so. There was a lot of responses back on both sides of the coin. I didn't write in but here's my viewpoint.
I am not offended when a guy opens a door for me. Nor am I offended when he waits for me to sit down before he sits down. It tells me his momma raised him right. Now...my husband usually opens the door for me especially if my arms are full but on the same token when he is carrying our daughter or has his arms full while mine are empty I open the door for him. Its called common courtesy not chauvinism. I open doors for people all the time. Little old ladies & gentlemen at the post office. Someone with their hands full trying to get it open. Maybe its because I was raised in the south maybe its because I watched Gone with the Wind to many times. I don't know....I just think its common courtesy not a way to make someone feel inferior to another.
Now, on the other hand....when I first got married I kind of expected my husband to do the things my father does for my mother. He finds a close parking spot so she doesn't have to walk far, if its raining he gets the car then comes & picks her up curbside, things like that. My husband not so much. Maybe it was because his mother is Asian & was raised to defer to a man, maybe its because he was in the Army where women were treated & expected to be equals. I am not sure. He doesn't do any of those things. But that's OK. Its made me become more independent. Which is great for our lifestyle now. He's gone half of the year. I had to learn how to be independent.
I also think we need to keep teaching our kids manners. My children learn please & thank you and they are also required to use ma'am & sir. If you are an adult my children are also required to call you Mr. or Miss before your first name. My friend is Miss Dana to my kids. Its a form of respect. All this..."children can call adults by their first name so as to not make the child feel inferior to the adult" is rubbish. Children are inferior in a way. I am the adult & I am the responsible one. My children call family members Aunt so & so or Uncle such & such. We've even gone so far as they call their adult cousins Aunt & Uncle. No it does not warp the kid. My Uncle Don is my cousin but I call him Uncle as a form of respect. He is almost 30 years my senior that's just how it works. His kids are called Aunt by my kids....same reason. Adults often ask how we are related & we explain the we are cousins.
I guess my point is manners don't cost anything but the benefits are immeasurable.